Campus Security for Students

What Your Daughter Needs to Understand

Mothers have admonished students to stay away from strangers.  Unfortunately parents only ever warned their daughters and sons about people they didn’t know .

Each year , thousands of excited women head off to college , completely ignorant of the most common threat – and it’s not strangers.  Most people need self defense from the people they know.

The Majority of Attackers Already Know their Rape Victims

Being attacked by a friend brings extra problems that teen victims are challenged to handle. There is a betrayal of trust .  They’ll feel more responsible .  There is not uncommonly less support from their group , who with divided loyalties. And all too often there is a greater sense of humiliation because friends gossip .

If rape is ignored , as it still frequently can be , as just drunken antics at a party, the victim is a target.  When even she feels that this experience wasn’t really rape- only a misunderstnading , young lives get seriously messed up . It happens all the time , on every campus in every state .

Date and Party Rape are Almost Never Reported

Intuitively , everyone has a good idea that’s the case . . Over 60% of cases are not ever reported. But the acquaintance / college / dating rape numbers are almost unbelievable .  Up to 90% of these cases are not reported .

And that means for 90% of events this is a crime with no penalty for anyone but the victim.

There are a lot of reasons why this happens .  
Don’t underestimate the impact of embarrassment, shame, fear , peer pressure, confusion , misplaced loyalty, pride, ridicule or self blame .  Many students fool themselves into believing . “It’s ok.     I’ll get over this,” but they carry the burden with them for years.  It can damage them and their relationships, for a long time .

So this is what you or your daughter need to understand about campus self defense .

* Usually we feel better  knowing that if a person hurts us they’ll be punished . Well, chances are that if a friend or date sexually assaults you, they’ll get away with it.  So, your best shot at justice is prevention. Carry a personal alarm and use it.
* If you mix young people and alcohol , stupid things often result and parties can very easily get out of hand . If you’ve been drinking with a couple of guy friends and they turn on you , people will say it’s your fault . It’s not right , but that won’t change anything .
* When the voice in your head says something is not right , stop and listen .  If someone makes you feel uneasy , say so .  Tell them to, “STOP RIGHT NOW”.  Do not waffle Don’t equivocate .  Do not think about about being embarrassed or hurting anyone’s feelings. Once you’ve made your point , leave .  No big scene is necessary , just say that you feel it’s time to go .  Tonight is over.
* When your common sense says something is strange with a new relationship , stop and listen .  It’s easy to be swept away by some awesome guy and not see the danger signs of a possible abusive relationship.
* Never bail on a friend who is out of it  .  There will always be another party , another Saturday night , but your friend is vulnerable and as irritating as a drunk can be – take charge and get her out of trouble .

* Never go out to parties or clubs by yourself .  Go with a friend who won’t leave you to your own devices if you lose control , no matter how obnoxious you might get .
* A school campus is populated with all kinds of people.  No one has an automatic right to your trust.  There will be people who don’t deserve your trust, so hand it out sparingly